me: 😔😭
me ten seconds later, remembering butch lesbians exist: 💕♥️💌🌹🏳️🌈💋💗❤️😇💖💝💘😍👩❤️👩🌷⭐️💕♥️🔥🌈💌💕💓❤️‼️
Just as a snake sheds it’s skin, we have to shed our past over and over again. - Buddha
me: 😔😭
me ten seconds later, remembering butch lesbians exist: 💕♥️💌🌹🏳️🌈💋💗❤️😇💖💝💘😍👩❤️👩🌷⭐️💕♥️🔥🌈💌💕💓❤️‼️
me: 😒😑
me, ten seconds later, remembering that femme lesbians exist: 💕❤💗💓💖💟💞💘👭🌹🌈🌈🌈🌈💝✅❗❗❗✔✔✔💯☑🌈💗❤💟
Me: 😡😫
Me, ten seconds later, remembering that trans lesbians exist: 💯💚👌🏼😻🌈☀️💖😍😇🖤💓😸💯💟❤️💞🌅🎇🌈✨🙈😊
Me: 😑😒
Me, ten seconds later,remembering that nonbinary lesbians exist: 🌸🌹😘😗😙😚❤💙💚💛🎉😍😊👭👭👭❤💘
Me: 😣😰
Me, ten seconds later, remembering that disabled lesbians exist: 💖💓💙💕👩❤️💋👩👩❤️💋👩😘😘🌺🌺💯💯♥️✔️😊😘💛💜💚💙😍😻
me: 😢😤
me, ten seconds later, remembering that lesbians of color exist: ❤️❣️💖💕🏳️🌈🌈💯🔥😍😊😻😸😽❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
Anyone else watches mukbang videos so they feel less hungry?
Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?”
Client: “Is e-mail internet”?
Me: “I beg your pardon?”
Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?”
Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.”
Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.”
Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?”
Client: “Open what?”
Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?”
Client: “My…my…?”
Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?”
Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.”
Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?”
Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?”
Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?”
Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.”
Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?”
Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?”
Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?”
Client: “My what?”
Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”
Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.
Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?”
Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.”
Me: “An error message?”
Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.”
Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?”
Client: “Yes.”
Me: “Move it for me.”
Client: “Move it?”
Me: “Yes. Move it.”
Client: “My e-mail!”
This post gave me a fucking ulcer.
God I just aged 50 years from this and almost had a stroke
me: *buys a bottle in another country*
me: *looks left*
me: *looks right*
me: ok but like
me: where is the pfandflaschenautomat
Alternatively:
Me in Germany: *empties.plastic.bottle*
Me in Germany: *crushes.it*
20 friends of mine simultaneously: NOOOOOOO!
20 friends of mine simultaneously: That’s Pfaaaaand!
Other Alternative:
Me in Germany: *About to throw empty bottle in trash*
Friends: NOOO! GIVE IT TO ME!
………………what the fuck are you guys talking about?
You never were in Germany right?
Haha. My life.
